I am lucky enough to work with people having years and years of experience and more important- more than willing to share their knowledge with me. I always had and I will have respect for this kind of people. The current working environment is completely different from where I worked before. Also, I am able to take strategic decisions which help me develop other sets of skills. So far so good!

My French lessons do not work that well and the feeling that I am losing my time grows stronger day by day. At this moment I am not sure that I will see this course finishing very positive for me. I told my professor several times that she should bring improvements. I suppose that’s the difference between the public and private sector. She does not care… students are coming and going all the time. The low price is the only motivation, as far as I can see.

When I started the course we were almost 40 students. Now we are 10-12 every week. If this is not a hint strong enough that something is not working, nothing else will ever be. Moreover, she looks tired and she stopped smiling so often as before.

We had our first test some time ago. I received 9 points out of 10. When I saw the grades for the whole group I could not believe it: the grades were as low as 2! It might sound ok but it was the first test and it could not go easier than that.

I would like to continue with my course because I am not a quitter but every day is getting harder and harder to follow it. I am learning more French from one meeting that I have (2h) than from 6h every week…

BTW. Lynne if you read this post I wish you all the best for your birthday! A bit late, I admit but better later than never!

Today I went to visit my future colleagues, my office and to deal with the usual administrative stuffs. From past experiences- everything moved smoothly so I hope this will be the case. It’s my first job as manager so I am aware that there are many things to learn along the way and mistakes to do, as well. The biggest challenge for me will be to delegate. Until now I was used to do all by myself but this time I will have to change and plan ahead rather than doing small stuffs. If I succeed or not only time will tell.

Another biggest challenge will be dealing with the people in my office. From the people who I’ve already met most of them are older than me and working for years for the same organization. I am not going to shoot myself in the leg from the beginning but my head is full of ideas to improve some things. I’ve already expressed my changes during my past three interviews so I came to the conclusion that they are ok with it- otherwise I would not be employed, right? I am aware that there is a lot of brain washing – it’s everywhere the same- but as long as I insist with my ideas there is no reason to be worried.

Looking past the last months- searching for a job is not easy in such a competitive job market. I’ve met all kind of people- interesting, good/bad interviewers, strong headed, shy, PR people, etc. The most important thing which will also bring a job is – in my opinion- fitting in the working environment. Past working experience, education, skills etc. are important as well but not the deciding element. Fitting is a tricky thing in itself because several interviews are not going to reveal too much about a person but I think it’s beneficial for all the parts involved to be themselves from the beginning. You might upset many people along the way, came across as arrogant, delay your chances of finding a job (the job) but I am confident that it will pay later.

What is left for me now is to enjoy my last days of freedom and be ready to move to the next phase.

Before the interview I was prepared to ask more in depth questions – sensitive questions which are made to annoy the employers. After the last interview I was sure that nothing will shock them anymore coming from me. However, the interview went very good. I was actually surprised because we had very diplomatic conversations and I realized how much I wanted to work with and for them. I do not know if I had secured the job or not but there were many “ifs” coming from their part. They said they will call me next week….

Also, today I received an offer from one of the companies which I interviewed two week ago. It’s an interesting job position –not a management position but the company has an impressive portfolio and very strong reputation. I need to make a decision rather quickly but rushing into signing a contract is not my style.

“(…) Let’s think about finding a personal style.  It is a long and winding path for most of us.  In an era of instant gratification, that sentence may not be satisfying enough for many of us.  The musical rock stars who find their path early in life usually burn out quickly.  And then what do they do?  Life for them is then more difficult than for the rest of us who are chugging along, getting lost sometimes and then finding our way again.  The rather long and winding path is not a bad thing.  Not only is there no glorious celebration at the end of the path, there is no end to the path.  The artist Max Ernst said that the worst thing an artist can do is to find his way.  The glory is in the seeking – in the process of painting more than in the product produced.  The inner glow of winning a big art award lasts a week or two, and then it’s all about the studio again.  So we want to enjoy, most of all, the making of the art.  That’s the real joy.  Arrange everything in your art life, as best you can, to make your studio time the best it can be (…).”

I am happy to see that there is some light at the end of the tunnel.

The quote is from Finding Your Personal Voice in Art.

I was very happy when the phone came for a second interview because of all the reasons mentioned above and also because I was confident that I can do the job properly.

However, the interview itself let me completely speechless. For two hours I had to deal with people who really enjoyed playing the good cop – bad cop except that the good cop was in a dormant state. So, I was left with the bad cop to fight the battle. No blood was seen at the scene of the incident but I can assure you that there were many fake smiles going on and on between me and him. Actually, when the interview was over I do not know if the bad cop or I was the happiest person that it all ended without any physical damage.

The outcome of the interview was very negative mostly because (that’s what the bad cop told me in the face) I have a strong personality, I am an overly organized person and expect too much from people. He also told me (very convinced) that I am not the right person for the position. Therefore, what it was left for me was to read between the lines that they were looking for someone able to do things without asking too many questions or have too many opinions.

This was the worst interview I ever had mostly because there was no connection between me and the interviewers. However, it was also the best interview so far because both parts (me and the interviewers) were very direct and there were no exaggerations going around in terms of answers I let them clearly know where I stand about the way I see the future of the company and what kind of person I am and they let me know exactly what they though and what they needed from the employed candidate to be.

 I am well aware that I will never ever get that job but there are no regrets whatsoever from my part about the way I behaved during the interview.

While I was trying to forget the purgatory experience and trying to focus on the future I got a phone call from them: they want to see me for a third interview. They agreed to move on to the next phase of the interview with two candidates.

I was shocked to hear the news, to say the least. Initially I thought it was a joke because here I am – the big mouth stubborn woman – going for more drama! As it seems … the worst has yet to come.

Having said that, I am quite bored with all these interviews and I am a bit lazy to write about each of them. Anyway it is fair to say that I am getting better with the interviews and I am quite relaxed about it. However I refuse to hide my personality behind the perfect candidate during the interview which is not always the best option because it affects my chances of getting the job.

I am still going to the French classes and I am doing my best to keep myself active and interested in the class. The teacher is doing her best but her best is just not good enough for me. At the beginning I thought that it was me but today some other people came to me and complained about the rhythm and the fact that the professor’s energy and enthusiasm is wrongly channeled.

A bit of toughness from her with us will bring much better and quicker results.

AND there is the painting. Tomorrow I have a relatively free day so I will be able to work on my painting. The oils are getting dry so I am looking forward to smearing some oil over the canvas.

Painting is very important for me because of several reasons but mostly because it relaxes me and it’s a tool of expressing my feelings. Over the years my style slightly changed but I can say that I always kept those sharp, well defined lines thorough my artworks. It is a style similar to Picasso and Braque. I never liked painting landscapes because I think my camera does a great job and because I enjoy contemporary art more.

Painting for me was and it will always be just a hobby (because of financial considerations). I have never searched any professional advice and I am not very eager to do so. What I am eager to do -though- is to start finding a personal painting style. As they stand now, my paintings are very colorful, busy, funny and …weird. I like all my paintings (some more than others) but I still cannot see a common pattern. Finding my personal style is quite difficult (I am quite struggling) and even more difficult to explain how I feel about it. The worse thing right now will be to force it. The best thing and the right one is to try and try until I will find it.

So, for this first step I intend to reduce the number of colors used. My newest painting will be called Beginnings and the main colors used will be purple and yellow (contrast colors). Also, the use of black and silver will set those well defined & strong boundaries.

All in all it was a good class. I got a bit bored with the exercises which we had to do in the class because I have already done them at home. Probably this should not be done but at least it gave me the possibility to think about it at home and then ask some questions.

I have nice people in the class from all over the world. It feels like travelling again. My colleague sitting on my right speaks no English so I am using only French. This is many times awkward because I am used to thinking in English. The colleague on my left speaks English so it’s nice to fell at home. However in the break I had the chance to speak Dutch with 2 other colleagues. This is brilliant! I paid for one course and I am learning French, Dutch and improve my English- all at the same time.

One thing which I did not like is that people are quite shy (or afraid) and almost never raise their hands. I thought that the point was to be active, participate and contribute to the class. Next time I will ask the professor if I can get more homework. Somehow I have the feeling that she does not like me too much (or I am getting paranoid?) because I am well ahead compared with some other people in the class and I am not afraid to show it. During few occasions I used my vocabulary (I am very proud to have a rich French vocabulary!) but then some of the colleagues started asking questions and we lost a lot of time with the professor explaining them what I wanted to say. Probably I should learn to shut up more (I am trying!!!) and let the professor to do her teaching. But somehow I think that I should speak out because of two reasons:

R1. My classmates are shy so… I do the questioning thing for them; otherwise, we all might die of boredom every Monday and Wednesday night

R2. The professor would acknowledge that some students are better than others and increase the rhythm in her teaching; this way of thinking might not be in the favor of the students who are lagging behind but if that’s the case they should work harder at home. I was a few times in this situation when I studied in English and most of my colleagues were Americans. It was hard but I spent many hours at home reading, studying and trying to catch up with the rest of the group. I am well aware that my English is far away from perfect (it will never be anyway) but at least I made that extra effort at the beginning.

Yesterday I had also met my French professor from the college .It was so nice to see her because she is a lovely lady, a great teacher and someone who helped me a lot during my war with the French language. She was not very happy to hear that I started to perdre my French but that’s life in Brussels. I would have liked to have some private lessons from her but then again- it’s tres cher. Probably later when I will be terrible unhappy but get a fat check at the end of the month I will be able to afford her.

In the meantime I will have to continue going to the classes, getting bored, struggling among other 29 students and hoping that things will get better.

Yesterday evening I had (finally) my first French lesson. The reception was crowded with people from all over the world all wanting to learn a foreign language.  The walls were full of information in different languages and teachers were struggling to bring the materials to their students. Coming back to that building brought lots of memories not only because I took some Dutch lessons in the past but also because I used to have some classes in the same building during my college years. I felt somehow old despite the fact that I did not finish my college too long ago.

I was there in time but like always there were people coming late. I do not particularly like this type of distractions but it is normal to happen because most of the students who take these classes are working in the day and trying to learn a new language in the evening.

The professor is Belgian from the Flemish speaking region. I have to admit that I do not like this too much because she does not have that strong French accent which I would like to acquire. I am struggling to get that beautiful French “r” and I hoped that she would have it. Anyway she seems a nice person and passionate about her work. At least that’s what she says.

We are 29 people in the class (!!!) and I am curious about how she will manage to have all of us speaking. I know for a fact that I speak for 4 students at the same time.

During the first class we bought le livre and the syllabus .After that we had to introduce ourselves. I have to admit that I was quite nervous at the beginning because I did not speak French for some time and I did not want to look & sound stupid. When I came into the class some people were speaking good French and I was wondering if I am in the right level. However, as the lesson progressed I was happy to see that my worries were not as strong founded as I thought. My French is ok but my pronunciation is so anglicized that it makes me laugh. Also, I am happy to say that I know the name of all 28 people in the class!

Everybody there speaks French and most of the people speak their own language and now French. Most of them speak no English. So that’s a good thing because I will be forced to speak only French. However, I have some Flemish speaking people in the class and a few times I switched from French to Dutch. So again I will be improving my Dutch as well.

One of the questions that we all had to answer was the reason for taking French. I was unpleasantly surprised that most people answered that they want to learn French parce qu’il faut le faire. How is that possible? Learning /studying a foreign language is the most beautiful thing and should be done because one enjoys it and not because he/she is forced… how can one put all the efforts in learning a new language when the pleasure is not there?

Anyway, it was a nice beginning, no devoirs but I had a quick look in the book and I started doing some of the exercises. By doing that I will have already some questions to ask the professor when we will do the exercises together in the class. The biggest worry will be me getting bored with things moving too slowly.

I agree that this whole idea of gender stereotyping cannot be ignored. One reference in the report is another report – “Eating Disorders, Body Image and the Media” which was published in 2000 by the British Medical Association. It is well known that the portrayal of beautiful is thin can create significant eating disorders on teenagers such as anorexia and bulimia.

However, I am quite concerned about how the EU is going to try to solve this situation. Creating a new body to deal with this is quite unrealistic in terms of deliveries. Also as Svensson said “The purpose of my report is to help make it impossible to use gender stereotypes in advertising.” is again too ambitious.

I would think that gender stereotyping has also cultural links and therefore difficult to regulate. More research should be done, impact assessments and after that regulation could be installed. Until then one should not ignore market demands and the existing traits between men and women which are there to stay. Victoria Coren (The Observer) has a point in the “Gender stereotyping? Fine as long as I get to do it”.